Stop Sexual Abuse happening to you
By Monica Cheru-Mpambawashe

By Every week there are stories of child abuse in the paper, especially sexual abuse. According to collated records there are over 450 cases of child sexual abuse cases that have been reported this year alone.
According to Childline, an organization dealing with child abuse in Zimbabwe there are many more cases going unreported.
The child parliamentarians and other youths have asked that the new constitution includes a death sentence for convicted child molesters.
Many people including teens view abusers as monsters who have no place in society. This may be correct but the sad truth is that according to stopitnow.org a website on child abuse 93 percent of child abuse cases are perpetrated by people that are known to the children and that is why over 88percent of the abuse cases remain unreported.
Parents, relatives, older siblings, family friends, teachers, church leaders and neighbours are regarded as guardians who are there to look out for the children, but it is these people who then turn around and abuse those under their care.

Right from the beginning of life, almost every child is taught not to talk to strangers or accept gifts from them. Thus most children are afraid of strangers and will not go into secluded places with them.
It is the people that we trust who can hurt us. But can you protect yourself from your father, uncle or teacher before they abuse you? Is there any way that you can minimize the danger to yourself?
International groups like Prevent Child Abuse and Stop It Now and our own Childline say that there are certain situations that make it likely for a child to be abused. Although no method is foolproof, here are a few tips on how you can minimize the chances of getting abused.
1) Do not keep secrets. In most of reported sexual abuse cases the child who is a victim is told that they must not tell anyone about what is happening. If someone touches your private parts or says something that you do not feel comfortable with, do not keep quiet. There is always someone that you can talk to. If it is someone at home tell your teacher or someone at church. If it is at school tell your parents immediately. If the first person that you confide in does nothing and tells you to keep quiet, tell someone else.
2) You do not deserve to be abused. Many abusers will control their victims by telling them that they are bad children and they are being punished for their mischief. Even when you have done something wrong you should not be abused. Punishment will not be done in secret.
3) Social scientists say that an abuser will start off by doing small things that will make a child feel uncomfortable. Someone who touches you in way that you do not like is likely to be dangerous. Also be careful of a person who tells you to scratch them, rub their body or sit on their lap.
4) Another method used by abusers is to pretend that they are playing a ‘game’ with you. Report to an adult that you trust if someone tries to make you take of your clothes or they take of their clothes in front of you, especially when the two of you are alone. Good games are played in the open with everyone knowing about it.
5) Do not accept special presents that you are told to hide. If an uncle buys you things or gives you money that your parents do not know about then beware, he is up to no good. No present which is genuine needs to be a secret.
6) Children especially girl children left alone with an older male in a private place like a classroom or house are likely to get abused. If a teacher asks you to remain behind after school tell your friends to wait for you. If you are a girl ask your female relative to make arrangements for you to sleep with female neighbours if she is going away. Avoid remaining in the house alone with an older male relative if you are afraid of them.
7) Do not look for special favours like going to a neighbor and asking for some fruit from their garden. Rather ask your parents to get them for you.
8) Although there are cases of children sexually abusing other children these are few compared to that of adults abusing children. So as far as possible, try to always hang out with people your own age. Avoid socializing with older people especially dating them.
9) Even religious leaders can be abusers. A pastor who leads a church can rape a child. Do not agree to private ‘healing sessions’ when no one else is around.
10) If a situation makes you feel uncomfortable then trust yourself. If you do not feel safe with your relative, teacher or pastor, avoid being alone with them. Even if you cannot explain why you do not feel safe, trust your instincts.
Cool Lifestyle hopes that this article will save many of you from potentially abusive situations and help those who are being abused to get the courage to stop it today.