Holla Holla dullars, hope I catch you roggering that. Have you ever wondered why you and your sibling don’t get along? Do you find time to go out with your brothers and or sisters? Or its always you and your friends?. Even celebs like the Jonas brothers, Miley Cyrus and Justin Bieber do have some sibling issues but they love one another. The bible has the stories of Joseph and his brothers who sold him because he was father’s favourite and the enmity between Cain and Abel. Well let’s not be jealous to our brother or sister for their achievements. After all blood is thicker than the water. But a little rivalry is normal. Do you think your parents favour your siblings above you? Here are the thoughts of teens just like you.
I think my parents adore my siblings more than me because they give them gifts that I never got when I was their age regardless of their performance at school which is not that impressive as compared to mine during their age. I feel this is not fair because it has affected our relationship both at home and at school. But in a way I understand that it is for the purpose of motivating me to do good. One way or the other we are one family and we love each other.
Chamaine Mutenda 18 Glenview1 High School
On several occasions my little brother undermines my authority as the big brother and it gets on my nerves. Maybe this is fueled by the fact that he is brighter in school than me. I am not happy that when it comes to family issues he is consulted first and most of his suggestions are the ones that are adopted. This hasn’t gone down well with me. Our aunt has tried to improve the relationship but it seems not to work.
Tinodiwa from Fletcher High School
I feel that I am always sidelined at home, a reason that has led to the existence of enmity between me and my young sister. Whenever we quarrel mom usually take my sister’s side even when she is wrong. I know that she is young but if she is wrong they should help me in correcting her as well.
Muza 15 Warren Park
Sibling rivalry doesn’t exist in our family but I am sure that it is parents who play a part in ensuring that this ceases to exist amongst their children. They should take notice of and give some praise to all children. If problems are dealt with fairly it will instill a spirit of cooperation and help with future 'battles'.
Norman Shoko 18 Dzivarasekwa
I used to be challenged by my young brother and I hated him for that. Our parents never took any action which made me think that they loved him more than me. However our parents made it clear that there would not tolerate any physical violence. This rule has helped me understand that you do not need fist to stamp your authority and to realize that someone who argues with you does not necessarily hate you. They just T. Rufaro 17 Highlands
My parents love my little brother more than me and I am even afraid this will tear apart the relationship I have been trying to build. I used to be very stubborn until we welcomed a little brother I tried to change for the better because I could see their attention was now on the little one. My brother is seven years old now and I am still being treated like a stranger. I have tried to be nice both to my parents and young brother but it is not working. I know I have been rude but they should at least give me a chance.
Romeo from Dzivarasekwa aged 18
We get the same treatment from our parents the only problem is that my siblings have a problem with authority and I have been trying to contain the situation so as to avoid unnecessary battles which might draw our parents’ attention. However I believe as time goes on they will get to know I am the big bro.
Tinashe Dakwa 19 Highfields
We are only two in our family me and my brother and my parents are of the belief that boys should get all the attention because they carry the family name. They adore my young brother very much. Luckily I am not jealousy of my brother but I feel if this persists it will ruin our relationship.
Anesu R.R 16 Msasa
Well, we will all argue now and then when we see things differently. If you really feel that your parents are persistently unfair, try and talk to them about it. Do not blame them but just explain how you feel when they choose your sibling over you all the time. But remember that you are lucky to have a family and love them all the time.
Monday, November 29, 2010
Stop Sexual Abuse happening to you
By Monica Cheru-Mpambawashe
By Every week there are stories of child abuse in the paper, especially sexual abuse. According to collated records there are over 450 cases of child sexual abuse cases that have been reported this year alone.
According to Childline, an organization dealing with child abuse in Zimbabwe there are many more cases going unreported.
The child parliamentarians and other youths have asked that the new constitution includes a death sentence for convicted child molesters.
Many people including teens view abusers as monsters who have no place in society. This may be correct but the sad truth is that according to stopitnow.org a website on child abuse 93 percent of child abuse cases are perpetrated by people that are known to the children and that is why over 88percent of the abuse cases remain unreported.
Parents, relatives, older siblings, family friends, teachers, church leaders and neighbours are regarded as guardians who are there to look out for the children, but it is these people who then turn around and abuse those under their care.
Right from the beginning of life, almost every child is taught not to talk to strangers or accept gifts from them. Thus most children are afraid of strangers and will not go into secluded places with them.
It is the people that we trust who can hurt us. But can you protect yourself from your father, uncle or teacher before they abuse you? Is there any way that you can minimize the danger to yourself?
International groups like Prevent Child Abuse and Stop It Now and our own Childline say that there are certain situations that make it likely for a child to be abused. Although no method is foolproof, here are a few tips on how you can minimize the chances of getting abused.
1) Do not keep secrets. In most of reported sexual abuse cases the child who is a victim is told that they must not tell anyone about what is happening. If someone touches your private parts or says something that you do not feel comfortable with, do not keep quiet. There is always someone that you can talk to. If it is someone at home tell your teacher or someone at church. If it is at school tell your parents immediately. If the first person that you confide in does nothing and tells you to keep quiet, tell someone else.
2) You do not deserve to be abused. Many abusers will control their victims by telling them that they are bad children and they are being punished for their mischief. Even when you have done something wrong you should not be abused. Punishment will not be done in secret.
3) Social scientists say that an abuser will start off by doing small things that will make a child feel uncomfortable. Someone who touches you in way that you do not like is likely to be dangerous. Also be careful of a person who tells you to scratch them, rub their body or sit on their lap.
4) Another method used by abusers is to pretend that they are playing a ‘game’ with you. Report to an adult that you trust if someone tries to make you take of your clothes or they take of their clothes in front of you, especially when the two of you are alone. Good games are played in the open with everyone knowing about it.
5) Do not accept special presents that you are told to hide. If an uncle buys you things or gives you money that your parents do not know about then beware, he is up to no good. No present which is genuine needs to be a secret.
6) Children especially girl children left alone with an older male in a private place like a classroom or house are likely to get abused. If a teacher asks you to remain behind after school tell your friends to wait for you. If you are a girl ask your female relative to make arrangements for you to sleep with female neighbours if she is going away. Avoid remaining in the house alone with an older male relative if you are afraid of them.
7) Do not look for special favours like going to a neighbor and asking for some fruit from their garden. Rather ask your parents to get them for you.
8) Although there are cases of children sexually abusing other children these are few compared to that of adults abusing children. So as far as possible, try to always hang out with people your own age. Avoid socializing with older people especially dating them.
9) Even religious leaders can be abusers. A pastor who leads a church can rape a child. Do not agree to private ‘healing sessions’ when no one else is around.
10) If a situation makes you feel uncomfortable then trust yourself. If you do not feel safe with your relative, teacher or pastor, avoid being alone with them. Even if you cannot explain why you do not feel safe, trust your instincts.
Cool Lifestyle hopes that this article will save many of you from potentially abusive situations and help those who are being abused to get the courage to stop it today.
By Monica Cheru-Mpambawashe
By Every week there are stories of child abuse in the paper, especially sexual abuse. According to collated records there are over 450 cases of child sexual abuse cases that have been reported this year alone.
According to Childline, an organization dealing with child abuse in Zimbabwe there are many more cases going unreported.
The child parliamentarians and other youths have asked that the new constitution includes a death sentence for convicted child molesters.
Many people including teens view abusers as monsters who have no place in society. This may be correct but the sad truth is that according to stopitnow.org a website on child abuse 93 percent of child abuse cases are perpetrated by people that are known to the children and that is why over 88percent of the abuse cases remain unreported.
Parents, relatives, older siblings, family friends, teachers, church leaders and neighbours are regarded as guardians who are there to look out for the children, but it is these people who then turn around and abuse those under their care.
Right from the beginning of life, almost every child is taught not to talk to strangers or accept gifts from them. Thus most children are afraid of strangers and will not go into secluded places with them.
It is the people that we trust who can hurt us. But can you protect yourself from your father, uncle or teacher before they abuse you? Is there any way that you can minimize the danger to yourself?
International groups like Prevent Child Abuse and Stop It Now and our own Childline say that there are certain situations that make it likely for a child to be abused. Although no method is foolproof, here are a few tips on how you can minimize the chances of getting abused.
1) Do not keep secrets. In most of reported sexual abuse cases the child who is a victim is told that they must not tell anyone about what is happening. If someone touches your private parts or says something that you do not feel comfortable with, do not keep quiet. There is always someone that you can talk to. If it is someone at home tell your teacher or someone at church. If it is at school tell your parents immediately. If the first person that you confide in does nothing and tells you to keep quiet, tell someone else.
2) You do not deserve to be abused. Many abusers will control their victims by telling them that they are bad children and they are being punished for their mischief. Even when you have done something wrong you should not be abused. Punishment will not be done in secret.
3) Social scientists say that an abuser will start off by doing small things that will make a child feel uncomfortable. Someone who touches you in way that you do not like is likely to be dangerous. Also be careful of a person who tells you to scratch them, rub their body or sit on their lap.
4) Another method used by abusers is to pretend that they are playing a ‘game’ with you. Report to an adult that you trust if someone tries to make you take of your clothes or they take of their clothes in front of you, especially when the two of you are alone. Good games are played in the open with everyone knowing about it.
5) Do not accept special presents that you are told to hide. If an uncle buys you things or gives you money that your parents do not know about then beware, he is up to no good. No present which is genuine needs to be a secret.
6) Children especially girl children left alone with an older male in a private place like a classroom or house are likely to get abused. If a teacher asks you to remain behind after school tell your friends to wait for you. If you are a girl ask your female relative to make arrangements for you to sleep with female neighbours if she is going away. Avoid remaining in the house alone with an older male relative if you are afraid of them.
7) Do not look for special favours like going to a neighbor and asking for some fruit from their garden. Rather ask your parents to get them for you.
8) Although there are cases of children sexually abusing other children these are few compared to that of adults abusing children. So as far as possible, try to always hang out with people your own age. Avoid socializing with older people especially dating them.
9) Even religious leaders can be abusers. A pastor who leads a church can rape a child. Do not agree to private ‘healing sessions’ when no one else is around.
10) If a situation makes you feel uncomfortable then trust yourself. If you do not feel safe with your relative, teacher or pastor, avoid being alone with them. Even if you cannot explain why you do not feel safe, trust your instincts.
Cool Lifestyle hopes that this article will save many of you from potentially abusive situations and help those who are being abused to get the courage to stop it today.
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